One Year

The Barlows at Dad's funeral-November 2013

One year ago today my dad died.  Coincidentally,  I recently was asked to type up some "memories" of my dad, and I just so happened to be working on that today.  I thought it would be appropriate if I shared them here.  I realize that some of these "memories" may be redundant since fairly recently I composed a post about my dad (see this post), but nevertheless, here's today's thoughts:

Dad never “visited” with me much; and he NEVER got after me.  However, I ALWAYS knew that he loved me and worried about me.   I never had a “curfew,” but I knew that if I was ever out later than he thought I should be, he would come looking for me.  I wouldn’t get “an earful” (again, I never remember getting “in trouble”), but I might be embarrassed by his spying/checking up on me.  One summer night, when I was home from college for the summer, I went over to a girlfriend’s house to “hang out” with her and a couple other girlfriends.  (There were no boys there.)  My parents knew where I was.  Late that evening the phone began to ring.   I panicked knowing it HAD to be my dad.  (These were the days before cell phones.)  My friend’s parents were in bed.  I told my friend Kim, “Quick, get the phone; it’s my dad!”  As it turns out, it was my mom.  She was calling to tell me that my dad had been out “checking” on me, and got stuck in the soft dirt at Kim’s house.  He had taken my car home; and left me with the stuck one.  She was calling to tell me to get a ride home, and that Dad would come get the stuck car out in the morning.   My mom also had to quit calling me at college in the evenings, because if I was not “home” at my apartment, my dad would hound her to keep calling back again and again until I got home so he could be sure I was OK and “safely home” in my apartment.  (Mom began calling me early in the morning before I’d left for class so that she could be sure to catch me at home.  Additionally, she wouldn’t tell Dad she was calling until she actually had me on the line, so she wouldn’t have to continually call back until I was home.) One time, when my ride back to college (BYU in Provo) fell through, my dad, with no fanfare or complaint, simply walked out, got in the car, and said, “Let’s go.”  He drove me to Provo, let me out at my apartment, and without even getting out of the car, turned around and started back to Logandale; it was a 12-hour, spur-of-the-moment, unplanned trip that he took without a second thought because he knew I needed help. 

 

I don’t ever remember Dad being irritated by much of anything.  He didn’t seemed bothered if the house was noisy or messy.  He wasn’t bothered if there was “nothing good to eat” or if he was awakened in the night by a crying baby or a noisy teenager.  He was never annoyed by other drivers on the road.  (Actually, he was usually the one doing the “annoying” since he drove very slowly.)  And (sometimes to Mom’s annoyance) he wasn’t irritated if things were broken or not “fashionable.”   (The first few summers in our new house, he “rigged” the big AC unit -which was supposed to go on our roof, but which he had not yet installed- as a window unit creating a wind tunnel through the dining room and over-cooling that part of the house, while the bedrooms remained hot.  We kids all just slept on the dining room floor in order to keep cool; leaving a “sleep-over” mess every morning in the dining room.  He also thought it was perfectly fine to keep the old comfortable couch on the front porch so he could lay out there at night.  And, we thought it was just standard fare to spend several hours waiting in a mechanic shop for car repairs whenever we went on a trip.  He was not irritated by broken cars or delayed trip plans.) I remember when the family dog, Lady, got locked in the car all night, and chewed the entire inside to shreds (stuffing coming out of the seat, bites from the dashboard, and claw marks all over); he did not seem fazed; he was hardly even irritated.  We just kept driving it, with the stuffing coming out, etc.  Because of his “unirritated” example, I’m not sure any of us kids even knew it was a “problem” to be driving a “chewed up” car.  Another time, when I had just received my driver’s license, I was driving the big family van, down the hill from my friend Corinne’s house.  It was night, and I was worried about driving that big of a vehicle.  I “hugged” the side of the hill a little too tight, tearing off all the trim and scratching up the side of the van. I remember when I told him what I’d done, he did not react at all; I don’t even remember what or if he said anything.  Those things just did not matter to him. He didn’t care if he drove a nice car or wore nice clothes.  In fact, I really cannot remember much of anything that irritated or got him upset, UNLESS, he thought someone was being treated unfairly.  When he coached my brothers’ teams, he liked to make sure EVERYONE had equal opportunities to play.  When he was the high priest group leader, he was determined to make sure a member suffering with health concerns got the help he needed.  And he would get very upset if he ever felt that anyone was over-charged or mis-treated.  (In some ways Trent reminds me a lot of Dad; Trent never says much about anything and is very calm and not easily upset; Trent does not care if his clothes or shoes are “stylish” or new;  he is talented and smart, but avoids the "limelight."   However, occasionally, he will come home from school and tell me something unkind or unfair that someone (even an adult) said or did to someone else; and he will be noticeably upset; and make a comment like, “I lost a lot of respect for him/her.”)

 

I’m not sure if Dad ever actually read “The Family, A Proclamation to the World;”  but, as a father, he had a natural ability to fulfill his divinely-outlined roles:  he provided for us; he protected us; and he presided over us; and most importantly, he loved us.  Dad did not like to be the center of attention; he didn’t think that he was smart or talented, but he was both.  He had a unique way of noticing things and taking care of our family and others who needed his help without fanfare or accolades.  I  am so glad that I had the privilege of being his daughter and growing up with a Dad who never yelled or got upset.  It was a wonderful way to be raised. 

 

Some of the Barlows at Dad's grave-Memorial Day 2014

 

Opening Ceremonies

3 of my 6 children have received mission calls.  The most recent was Lynae, just 3 days ago.  Opening missionary calls has, in recent years, become somewhat of an "event."  Many prospective missionaries film their "openings," and/or invite friends and family to attend the "opening ceremony."  However, my husband remembers picking up his call at the post office, opening and reading it right there, and the post mistress being the first to hear his news. 

My own children have varied in what they wanted as far as "Opening Ceremonies."  Dallin was on a back-east church history trip with LDS youth from our stake when his call arrived.  I knew it might be arriving while he was gone, and purposely avoided picking up the mail.  (I was trying to wait until he got home, so he could check the mail and get the call himself.)  However, he relentlessly called and asked me to check, check, check.  When it finally came, I texted him a picture of the large white envelope and told him it would be waiting for him to open when he arrived home.  He didn't want to wait.  Instead, he invited all his friends into his hotel room, put everyone on speakerphone (Yep, 2009 was pre-facetime) and had us open and read his call to him.....Kent opened it and read, "You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  You are assigned to labor in the Chile Santiago West Mission."  Amidst cheers from his friends coming through the phone, we heard Dallin's famous first words in response to the news, "Will that be English speaking or Spanish speaking?"  It was Spanish :)  My blue-eyed, blond boy spent 24 months in Chile, speaking Spanish, preaching the gospel, and keeping the mission finances in order.  (He served for 8 months as the financial secretary for the mission.)

Dallin-Baptism in Chile!

Kaylee's call arrived the day after Christmas 2013.  Our family was in Disneyland (taking advantage of the last time we would all be together for quite a while, since we anticipated Kaylee and Lynae serving over-lapping missions.)  Grannie Annie had been given the task of checking the mail daily just in case the call came.  While in line for Space Mountain, I got a text from Annie Leavitt at the Logandale Post Office saying that Kaylee's call had arrived.  Kaylee quickly called Grannie, and sent her to retrieve the big white envelope.  Grannie sent us pictures showing the envelope in her possession awaiting our arrival home.  We got home from Disneyland late on the evening of December 27th.  Kaylee immediately left to go pick up the call from Grannie.  Kent and I got ready for bed; and lay there wondering if she had the call yet, if she would open it, and when she'd be home.  (It seemed like she was gone a long time.)  She had told us that she didn't want a big "to-do" with her call, but just wanted to open it alone.  We finally heard the Suburban pull up, and heard her come in.  She walked down the hall and opened our bedroom door.  Through the darkness, we heard her voice ask, "So do you want to know where I'm going?"  Kaylee had been called to serve in the Mexico, Aguascaliente Mission!  Having snuck into Grannie's house while Grannie slept,  Kaylee found the envelope.  She reported that she left Grannie's and drove around for a while, not quite knowing where or when to open it.  She said it seemed weird to just open it alone in the Suburban, but she also thought it would be weird to come home and then just go down into her bedroom to open it.  She then decided that she would go to the cemetery and open the call and read it to Grandpa Mike (my dad).  Grandpa Mike had passed away on November 1st, and his headstone had just been placed on Christmas Eve.   So she sat on the little bench facing his headstone, and told him, "Well, Grandpa, you get to be the first to hear where I am going."  She then opened her call, and using a little flashlight that she had, read the call out loud "to Grandpa."  Kaylee is now serving in Mexico. She is speaking Spanish, learning to wash clothes by hand and survive without reliable running water and/or power.  She is also teaching the gospel, learning to love the people and loving and experiencing those things which can only be experienced on a mission.

Kaylee-Celebration for Mexican Independence Day.  Kaylee writes,
"There's no discrimination here in Mexico....white girl gets the tiny sombrero."

Lynae's call arrived this last Thursday.  I got a text from her in Provo at BYU where she is going to school saying, "My call is here!!! I am FREAKING OUT!!!"  I was not sure if she would open it or not.  She had said she did not want an "opening ceremony"  since she just felt it too "cliché" at BYU.  She is planning to come home this next weekend for Moapa Valley High School homecoming, and had talked about waiting and bringing it home to open it here; but apparently she couldn't wait, because later that day, I got a text from Kent, saying "Call Lynae.  She has some news she wants to share."  She had opened her call privately, but wanted Kent and me to be the first to know.  Since I was not with Kent at the time, she told us via phone separately.  Lynae has been called to serve in the Rochester, NY mission to include, along with her duties to share the gospel, service in the Hill Cumorah Visitor's Center!  She cried as she read her call, and prefaced the news to us by saying, "This is just the most PERFECT missionary call for me!  My cheeks hurt because I just can't stop smiling about it."  (Lynae LOVES the Book of Mormon.  It is the basis of her testimony.  She read the entire book before her baptism at age 8; and continues to read it often.  In 2012, she and I gave ourselves the "12 in 12"  challenge, and read the Book of Mormon each month during 2012....12 times that year. (See this post.) She is sooo excited to get to serve EXACTLY where that sacred record was deposited by Moroni and then retrieved by Joseph Smith and to tell that story and bear testimony of it over and over on a daily basis.) Lynae asked us not to tell yet because her BYU friends had talked her into a "mock re-opening ceremony" later that night, where they could all gather together to hear the news.  It was sooo hard to sit by my mom, father-in-law, and two brothers that evening during Trent's football game and say nothing!!  Later, when I saw things "surfacing" on facebook, I realized that the "re-opening" had taken place, and I texted Lynae for permission to "tell."  She said she would call her grandparents, and then the news was "free game,"  so I have been texting and telling the news nonstop since then.  Congratulations Lynae!





No wonder she couldn't wait.....I'd say she's just "a little bit excited" about getting her call!
(Note the gray metal "storage box" behind her.  This is where she picks up her mail.  It's the temporary Heritage Halls "Post Office" during the construction process.)






 

P.S.  Since Lynae received her call, someone told me, "You know it is rumored that they only send the prettiest missionaries to The Church's visitor's centers because these missionaries represent "the face of The Church" and they want visitor's to have a pleasant impression."  Now I don't know if this is true or not, but in Lynae's case, I choose to believe that it is :)  Additionally, her call affirms my suspicions that only those missionaries who are skilled bathroom cleaners, are called to serve in The Church's visitor's centers....(The Church's visitor's centers have the cleanest public restrooms I have ever seen, which explains why you never see elders serving in the visitor's centers, only sisters and couples. :)  But whatever the case, I'd say Lynae's call was definitely inspired:  She has a great love for and testimony of the Book of Mormon; she's pretty; and she's pro when it comes to cleaning bathrooms.  Congrats Lynae!  You will be an awesome missionary! 

Of Football and Silver Linings

We are full-swing in the middle of football season around here.  And I am choosing to enjoy the "silver linings." 

Silver Lining #1:   Luke broke his wrist. (I know, what type of a "silver lining" is THAT?!)....BUT, the break was not nearly as bad as it appeared. (His wrist looked pretty "deformed," and I was sure it would require surgery, pins, etc. etc.  Even the doctor was surprised with the x-ray results.)
And we were in St. George when it happened so we has a very short ride to the ER.  Luke chose a hot-pink cast (my favorite color); and the orthopedic doctor we were referred to, turned out to be great and covered by our insurance.

We think this was the play that broke Luke's wrist.  Note Luke in low for the tackle and the kid he is tackling, plus a 200+ pound lineman from Luke's own team, coming over the top of Luke and onto his wrist---Ouch!

Luke awaits a diagnosis.
We got the football jersey and shoulder pads off without cutting/ruining his jersey.
(Another "Silver Lining." :) 

Luke gets fitted with a temporary cast in the ER.

Football jersey and a fresh hot pink cast.  (The cast doesn't look that nice anymore :)

Silver Lining #2:  I missed getting a picture of Trent's awesome catch for a TD (a long-bomb, caught in the endzone)....BUT, Trent plays EVERY play (defense and offense and special teams) on the MVHS JV football team and is so much fun to watch; he has made some awesome tackles; and I have a "perfect picture in my mind" of his awesome catch.  (I ALMOST decided NOT to go to that game, since it was on a school night in Vegas, and I had to go alone....but I'm sooo glad I didn't miss his moment of glory!)


 I missed the pic of the TD catch by Trent, so this picture of his catch in a game last year will have to do. 

Trent, #29, gets instruction from Coach Larsen before heading into the game.

Silver Lining #3:  I attended the BYU verses Utah State game.  I am a BYU alum, and BYU lost, ending their winning streak.  Additionally BYU's quarterback broke his ankle, which will put him out for the season.....not fun.....BUT, I got to see my BYU "girlies" and sit by them during the game.  I got in "free" (One of Lynae's friends wasn't using her pass); I got a ride to Provo with my brother; and I really had a glorious weekend listening to conference and enjoying time with my girls.  Even though the actual game was a bit disappointing, the atmosphere did NOT disappoint.  I LOVED being in the "nosebleed" student section and being able to have a birdseye view of the whole stadium, watching the skydivers sail into the stadium trailing flames, being able to see the band "formations," and getting a "whole picture view" of "the wave" were just a few of the benefits of our seats in the air.  It was awesome!  I don't think I ever missed a BYU football game, from 1985-1989, but this is the first time I've been back to one since then.  Go Cougars!

Kay and Lynae before the game.  (And we didn't even PLAN the "twin attire"-note how we match even down to the brown boots.  Great minds think alike :)

Our birdseye view of the stadium-
Skydiver landing on the 50-yard line.

Selfie with the girls at the game

Thanks to Lynae's friend Zach who had a "Recruit Pass," we had these seats (3rd row, 50-yard line) for the last 18 seconds of the game.  Another "Silver Lining!" :)

Visiting the newly-remodeled Bean Museum at BYU with Grannie and cousins

Analise with cousins Ashlynn, Russell, and Scott, pose with the "Conservations Kids" at the Bean Museum. These "superheroes" gave us candy and reminded us to "take care of our planet."  (Maybe Lynae could get a job as a "Conservation Kid;" Afterall, her dorm is only a stone's-throw from the Bean Museum :)

The 3rd Time's the Charm

I have 6 kids.  The oldest is 24 and the youngest is 12.  None of them EXCEPT Luke has ever broken any bones.  (Did I just say that out loud?? I'm knocking on wood as I type...)  Luke has had 3 broken bones.  He broke his collar bone when he was 1.  He broke his leg when he was 3.  And this last week he broke his wrist.  However this is his first time to actually have a CAST.  (Collar bones are not cast, and his broken leg....well, we did not know it was broken for 3 weeks.....I know...what kind of parents are we???  But it was not our mistake; it was a mis-reading of the x-rays.  However, when he was still crawling (rather than walking) after 3 weeks, we had it re-x-rayed, and yep, his leg was broken.  Luckily for us, it was already almost completely healed, straight and "in place," and a cast was deemed unnecessary at that point.)  But this time (the 3rd time), after sustaining a broken wrist in a football game  (He DID get the tackle though.), he was rewarded with a correct diagnosis and a lovely hot pink cast.  (Actually, he CHOSE pink...he must have at least a little bit of me in him....because I LOVE pink!)

Fatally Flawed

I run most every morning.  I run early  -before dawn-   to avoid the heat.  Today I did not.  Midday, I decided that I should go for a run.  I reasoned, "I can run midday, (in late August, in southern Nevada) because...... A- I grew up here; I am used to the heat.  And.....B- I am a runner.  I am in good shape.  I've even run a few marathons......So C- I can run a few short miles midday in the sun."

I further reasoned, "It will be just like when I watch Luke's mid-day football games.... only running."  (Yeah, I can't believe I didn't see the flaw in THAT reasoning.) 

It turns out that I'm not so good at logic.   In this case, If A is true and B is true, it does NOT follow that A+B (or C) is true.

My logic was fatally flawed.  And I don't use that term lightly.  I thought I was going to DIE.  But I lived to tell the tale. 

I will NOT be running midday for some time (at least not until it is under 90 degrees outside.)

To Do

I always have a lot to do.  And because no one in my family probably even notices or cares about half the stuff I do ("to-dos" that I inflict upon myself), and because I got an amazingly lot of things done a couple of days ago, and because I want a record of what I did in ONE day.  I am going to post it here: Here's what I did:  Exercised (ran and did step aerobics 1 1/2 hours), read the scriptures and prayed, finished the stripping/ waxing job on the kitchen floor, re-caulked all the baseboards in the kitchen, re-painted all the baseboards in the kitchen, cleaned out the garage (not super good, but I did straighten and blow out all the dust and sweep it good.), straightened  and wiped out all the kitchen cupboards, vacuumed the upstairs, used the carpet cleaner upholstry attachment to clean my couches, finished Luke's scrapbook.  (All 6 kids are now "caught up" through June 2014), cleaned out the office including filing and dusting and vacuuming.....Whew!  Then yesterday I was feeling guilty because I didn't "get much done," but I was TIRED, and I think I was just comparing my accomplishments to the previous day, but yesterday I DID:  Exercise, read the scriptures and pray, fix a good breakfast for my family (bacon, eggs, juice, toast), held family scriptures with my kids, did laundry, made three loave of applesauce bread, delivered some to a neighbor, did some more filing, and ran a few errands.

Ok, now I feel a bit validated for all my work :)

P.S.  I TRIED to MAKE Luke appreciate the clean, freshly-painted baseboards, but he was unimpressed.  However I did get him to say, (in a flat, unenthusiastic voice), "Yes mom, they look great," while not even looking at them. 

I Walked to Zion

We just got back from our annual trip to Fish Lake (See this post).  And while there, I picked up and read this book (I Walked to Zion) which just happened to be in the cabin.  It is a lovely collection of short autobiographical accounts of pioneer children who crossed the plains.  I thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved reading the perspective of pioneer children in their own words. Each account is only 2-4 pages long, and thus, I could read AND FINISH an account in just a few minutes.  (As explained in my previous FishLake post, reading is something I LOVE, but when I begin reading anything that takes longer than a few minutes, everything else in my life is totally neglected until I have finished reading whatever novel/book I happen to have picked up, thus I seldom allow myself to read anything that is longer than a few pages.)

And....I must say this book was quite appropro, since we traveled to Fish Lake on July 24th, Pioneer day. 

P.S. when I looked at the picture of a certain pioneer girl in this book, I thought, "Wow, she looks just like Marjorie Hinckley!"  Turns out it was her grandmother!  How cool is that?  Also, my great grandfather. Samuel Wittwer,  is mentioned in the account of one pioneer girl who settled in Santa Clara.

Kay, Analise, Luke, Dallin, and Trent standing on "Penny Rock" overlooking FishLake. July 2014. (Dallin and Analise joined us for a couple of days from Rexburg and Provo respectively.)