Invisible mom

Moms do lots of things that nobody notices, but need to be done, and somehow "magically" get done.  (No-it's not elves in the night-it's really just the mom.)  My mom did; her mom did; and now I do.  Some of the "invisible mom" tasks at my house include: washing sheets, washing towels, washing windows, cleaning baseboards, cleaning out the fridge (both the inside and outside), cleaning out the freezer (both inside and outside), knowing and keeping track of who needs to be where when and getting them there either herself or through sometimes very complicated-multiple-phone-call/text arrangements, dusting cobwebs from corners, sorting through and re-arranging seasonal/outgrown clothing, sweeping and mopping the entry-ways, cleaning light fixtures, taking, ordering, labeling, and organizing pictures to document family life (nope the scrapbooks didn't just magically appear one day), and washing curtains and cleaning out window wells.  These are only a few of many "invisible mom" tasks.  Additionally there are many tasks that get done ONLY BECAUSE of mom's DIRECT instruction.   I remember telling someone that I could definitely sleep well at night knowing that if the "dishwasher police" ever did a raid on my house I could answer without hesitation that the dishwasher in the Barlow home is ONLY loaded or unloaded under MY personal supervision. Aren't moms awesome (even if they are invisible)?!  What "invisible mom" tasks do you or your mom do?

Planning or lack thereof

I have been mulling this post around in my mind for a while, not sure if I should post or not, but once again knowing that I have very few readers is helpful (haha).  And I want my own children to know my thinking on this so here goes this post.

For those of you who know me, you know that I happen to be a little OCD when it comes to planning.  HOWEVER, the timing, spacing, and number of my children has never been planned.  Granted I always SAID I wanted 6 kids, but I was willing to accept more or less or whatever.  It's hard for me to explain my philosophy on this subject given my OCD tendencies, but the best explanation I can give is the recent words of President Boyd K. Packer when he said, "When we were first married, my wife and I decided that we would accept the children that would be born to us with the responsibility attending their birth and growth."  Like President Packer, I believe that there are a lot of spirits waiting and wanting to come to earth, and I believe that Heavenly Father knows better than I do which and how many of  His spirit sons and daughters should be part of the Kent and Kay Barlow family and when each should make his/her grand entrance into mortality, and in the end it was/is just a HUGE relief to leave this one big decision up to Him.  Now I am mindful of the fact that I have not struggled with infertility, have easy pregnancies (not even morning sickness to speak of) and fast and fairly easy (as if childbirth can ever be "easy") deliveries.  I do/did not suffer with postpartum depression, and my "favorite" time in my life since being a mother was when I had 4 pre-schoolers (Weird-I know-it might be worth another "I'm weird" post.) So I do not pretend that my feelings on this subject are perfect for everyone, but this lack-of-planning "plan" is what is best for our family.  Sometimes I think about what might have happened if we HAD planned:  No Dallin-we were still in school and too poor.  No Analise-I was just starting a master's degree program-too busy.  No Kaylee-She and Analise are only 18 months apart-3 kids in 3 1/2 years? Too many too close.  No Lynae-We were already past the 2.5 standard kids and had both a boy and a girl-besides dealing with 4 pre-schoolers is way too much to handle.  No Trent-Trent about did me in.  He was a WONDERFUL, calm, easy-going, go-to-sleep-on-command-anytime-anywhere kid (still is) but trying to juggle the demands of piano lessons, dance lessons, scouts, soccer etc. with a newborn and no kids old enough to babysit-well, it was no walk-in-the-park.  No Luke-Luke was a screamer 24/7 for the first year of his life-not good for anybody.  Of course I didn't KNOW he was going to be like that until after his arrival, but I like to think that Heavenly Father did, because I got the easy-going Trent just prior, and for some odd reason, even though our other children all arrived around 2 years apart, I had a 3 1/2 year reprieve between Trent and Luke.  Also, since I THINK Luke is probably our last, it was helpful to have a baby that didn't leave me too sad, nostalgic, and/or baby hungry for more.  How sad it would be if I purposely chose to miss out on any one of these 6 amazing people for such eternally insignificant reasons as it is humanly impossible to save enough on one income to put them all through college (nope, it wasn't all saved ahead of time, but somehow, each semester it works out-3 in college now and it is working.) or because we got our token "boy" and "girl," or even because we sometimes got stares and questions like "Are ALL those yours?"  Hindsight is always 20/20, but I love that my kids are close enough in age to "hang out" and be friends. I love that I am not yet an "empty nester" (which I might have been if I'd stopped after the token "boy" and "girl,") and I love that our 7-bedroom home has been filled with kids and not "things." So nope, none of my kids were born in what I consider the ideal "birth months" (February through May) and we may have more than is "politically correct" and people may STILL ask, "Are ALL these yours?!"  (They usually think that our family is a yours-mine-and-ours.) And sometimes it was and is hard to have 6 kids who all have needs.  But I have trusted and continue to trust that Heavenly Father knows what I can handle and what is best for me and for each of the children entrusted to me, and I am  grateful for all 6 that have been entrusted to me.  “Children are an heritage of the Lord: and … happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them."  (Proverbs 127: 3, 5) I am grateful to have left my "plan" for the arrival of my children in the hands of my Father in Heaven and for His blessing of a  "quiverful."     

Our "quiverful"
November 2012

a valentine limerick

There once was a cute CPA

Who was thoughtful and kind every day

He had twinkly blue eyes

So it was no surprise

That he captured the heartstrings of Kay

Happy Valentines Day to my cute, thoughtful, kind, twinkly blue-eyed CPA :)

Kay and Kent 1989

You're in the Army Now

The army used to have the slogan, "We do more before 8 a.m. than most people do all day."**  I was thinking about this saying the other day when I was trying to get everything done BEFORE I leave for work at 8. Sometimes I get discouraged that I don't get enough done during the day, so to make me feel better, here is a list of what I get done BEFORE 8 a.m.  (most days :)

*Personal prayers
*Personal scripture study
*Run 4-6 miles
*Lift weights or do toning exercises
*Make breakfast
*Clean up breakfast
*Family prayer
*Family scripture study
*Do laundry
*Tidy the house
*Make bed
*Shower, dress, hair, make-up
*Mop kitchen floor
*Run vacuum over traffic areas
*Wipe down bathrooms
*Read with Luke
*Help Luke with piano
And on a REALLY good day *Start something in the crockpot for dinner.

All right, I feel better now.  That's pretty much an entire day's work all before 8 a.m.  I guess the discouragment comes from the fact that I just have more than "an entire day's work" that needs to be completed daily. 

With that thought in mind, maybe I should end this post with the rest of the words to the post title:

"You're in the army now.

You're not behind the plow.

You'll dig in a ditch.

You'll never get rich.

You're in the army now." 

 

Those words seem appropro for my life and current schedule :)

**OK I googled it, and the army's slogan was actually "We do more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day. So BAM! I'm showing up the army with my morning routine!

(View the 1981 army commerical below)

"....and wholesome recreational activities" or "I'm weird" Post #4

The Family A Proclamation to the World states that "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of  faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."  Now for most people number 9 on this list is the easiest to accomplish.  I am not "most people."  What "most people" consider "wholesome recreational activities" I find to be stressful and/or time-wasting.  I don't particularly like playing board games. (What am I accomplishing?) If you read my Thanksgiving post, you know I don't enjoy skeet shooting, and well, I'm just not that athletically coordinated for things like skiing (water or snow), volleyball, or softball (things that "most people" would categorize as "wholesome recreational activities.")  Hey, I even get a bit anxious about bowling or playing frisbee.  BUT.....I DO want a successful family, AND my family is very forgiving of my lack of athletic skill.  SO...When Luke wanted to go snowboarding/skiing for his birthday, I took a deep breath and went.  I've only skied three times before in my life, but I only fell getting off the lift twice (and Kent kindly picked me up,)  and I only fell going down the hill once.  (I probably did over 20 runs, but lest you get too impressed, I stayed on the bunny hill the entire day.) It turned out to be a very fun day, and even though I "accomplished" nothing (the laundry is still there, the house is still uncleaned, and my on-line graduate course still needs attention) I made a memory.  And all those other things will still be there tomorrow, and next week, and the week after and so on, BUT my baby won't ever turn 11 again, and I'm quite sure that in a few years, he will not want to go on a FAMILY ski trip as a birthday celebration. So here's to "wholesome recreational activities!"  

In line for rentals

Luke ready to snowboard-he is pretty darn good at it.  Luckily  he did not inherit my unathletic genes

Trent ready to snowboard-also pretty good, but he ended up trading in his snowboard for skis.  He preferred skiing .

Lynae-first try at snowboarding, but by the day's end, she was pro.

Dallin (Home from Rexburg for his offtrack so he came with us.) and Kay

Luke and Dallin on the lift

Luke and Kent-despite their expressions in this photo, they were both having a marvelous time

Despite my insistence that I HAD to stay on the "first time" bunny hill due to my  strong aversion to poor grammar, my children persuaded me to try the more difficult, yet grammatically incorrect, "your ready" run for the last two runs of the day.  I may not be ATHLETIC, but by golly I KNOW MY GRAMMAR!

All done!  As you can see, this "wholesome recreational activity" made us all happy.  (Luke was happy too-he just refuses to smile for pictures unless we "trick" him into it.) P.S. We sure missed our other two girlies, Analise and Kaylee.  They are in Provo-winter semester at BYU.